Confession #2: I Use the F Word in Front of my Daughters

 

They say confession is good for the soul.  After getting that last thing off my chest (you know the one about how I am pretty much insane), I decided to confess again.  This one is bad.  Brace yourself.  Ready?  I use the F word in front of my two and four year-old daughters.  Not just once… kind of a lot.  In reference to myself, in reference to others, I don’t even think twice, I just say it.  Gasp.  Go ahead judge me now.  No, not that F word.  Not the one you’re probably judging me for (It’s okay.  I did give you permission).  The other F word… the even worse one.  It starts with F and rhymes with Cat.  Got it?

You might be surprised that I referred to it as the “even worse” F word.  I’m not advocating tossing the other one around in front of your children either.  I am just saying if you have to choose between the duck and the cat, the duck would probably do less damage.  Okay, stop judging now!  Just hear me out.  Yes, the duck is far more scandalous and it is inappropriate.  But think what the cat can do.

When your daughter looks at you what does she see?  She sees beauty… Beautiful Mommy.  I know because I was little once… once upon a time, long, long ago (Enough!  Not that long!).  I knew my mommy was the most beautiful mommy.  I wanted to have her smile, her eyes, her voice…  I wanted to look like my mommy.  If Beautiful Mommy feels less than beautiful, she should never tell her daughter this.  If she feels like her butt looks fat in these jeans, she should shut her mouth.  Beautiful Daughter looks up to Beautiful Mommy and hopes and expects to be just like her someday.  Your little girl believes everything you say.  Maybe you are normally a self confident woman, but today you feel F-A-T.  Don’t say it out loud…. not in front of your child.  Every time we bring up our insecurities like they are fact, they become fact… to our little ones.  Then as they grow up, our insecurities will becomes their own.  If Mommy worries about being fat, Daughter will think she is fat.

Think about be before you speak, Mommy

Think about ME before you speak, Mommy

If I burn my finger and exclaim “Duck!”  It is about the same to my little girls as if I burn my finger and say “Ow!”  It may startle.  It may surprise.  It will not do any permanent damage (except to my maternal ego when she quite possibly repeats it after a fall at the playground).  If we are honest, the biggest real problem with this F word is the embarrassment it can (and probably will) cause you as a parent.  If the choice is between long term emotional damage to your daughter or a temporary red face for yourself, I think we both know which one is better.

As if my previous confession is not bad enough, I sometimes I use the S word too.  Skinny.  But what is wrong with that? you ask?  Sure I get it.  I get why the F word is bad.  Why is the S word bad?  Isn’t skinny a good thing?  No, no, NO!  Here’s why.  In magazines, TV commercials, movies… all around us, is the message.  Fat is bad.  Skinny is good.  Maybe the worst evil and the highest good even.  I hate to admit it, but I sometimes get caught up in this terribly, horribly, dreadfully bad way of thinking.  Fat is neither bad nor good (although it is unhealthy to be overweight).  Skinny is neither bad nor good (although it too, can be unhealthy).  Praising a girl for being skinny can be just as damaging as condemning a girl for being fat.  Shocking, I know.  Again, hold off on the judgement.  Think about it this way.  There are two basic kinds of motivation… positive and negative.  The negative comments toward obesity are harmful to a girl’s self image.  But positive comments about being skinny can cause problems too.  If she is good because she is skinny, won’t she be better is she gets skinnier?  If she loses even more weight, people will really like her.  This can lead to an unhealthy view of weight and even unhealthier methods of achieving the ultimate goal… to be skinny.  She may also begin to identify herself as a skinny girl instead of a kind, smart, funny, interesting, etc… person.  Being and staying skinny can become too important.  Both fat and skinny put too much emphasis on physical appearance, and not enough on what really matters.

I think, as mothers, we should eliminate these bad words from our vocabularies.  At the very least we need to stop using them in front of our daughters.  Yes, they will grow up.  They will eventually hear these words.  But don’t let it be from their own Mommies.  Keep them innocent and happy.  Let them dance because it is fun, without a thought of how many calories it might burn.  Will you join me and vow to keep little ears safe from the real S and F words?

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And now, I shall jump off my soapbox before I fall and hurt myself.

Thank you!

 

What do you think?

Confession

It has been 12 days since my last run.

Yes, that sounds like a confession.  It feels like a confession.  It feels all wrong to be not running.  I don’t feel well enough to run.  I’m sick.  I shouldn’t be running.  And probably couldn’t even if I tried.  But still, it feels all wrong.  I feel guilty. When I don’t run, I get anxious.  I feel like I have gained… One. Million. Pounds.  I feel like I’ve lost everything I have been training for.  I feel out of shape, and I am convinced I look it.  That is the real confession.  That is wrong.  Not only is it wrong, it is absolutely ridiculous.  I went to the doctor before I got sick for a check up, and I went again a couple days ago.  I had gained weight.  One pound.  So maybe I drank two cups of water more that day.  One pound.  Weight fluctuates throughout the day.  One pound.  Seriously!  But I was worrying about it and obsessing and thinking that I had “let myself go.”  I even cut back on my beloved ice cream (That probably explains why I got sicker and sicker).  I worried about every calorie.  I skipped breakfast and lunch then ate three times as much dinner (because that’s healthy*).  It is a disordered way of thinking, and I know it.  Sick bodies need food too.  Not running should not mean not eating.  Running is healthy.  Eating nutritious food is healthy.  You know what is not healthy?  Worrying and obsessing…  especially over something I cannot control.  So this is my confession.  This is so embarrassing to confess because I know it sounds crazy… it is crazy!  I know I am not overweight.  Most people would even classify me as “skinny.”  I really do know that.  But still… that little voice… the mean one… is just plain nuts!  Nice to meet you Little Voice… now go away!  No, it’s not crazy at all that I am talking back to myself inside my head.  Also not crazy that the good voice, the one talking back to the bad one has a fake French accent.  This is all normal.

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As for losing everything I’ve trained for, maybe I will start off a little slower when I get back to running.  Maybe I’ve lost a little.  Who knows?  But it doesn’t matter.  I can’t run right now.  Worry does’t help  I will be able to soon.  That’s all.

True story.  So try 12 days!

True story. So try 12 days!

I run because I love it.  I need to get back to that.  Yes, it’s okay to run to stay fit and in shape.  Yes, it’s good to train for something.  Yes, it’s fine to want my best marathon time this Fall.  It’s good to have goals, but it is not good to let those goals change the way I feel about running.  I don’t run to keep myself from gaining a single pound… ever.  I don’t run to just get a PR in a race.  I run because I love it.  If I run because I love size zero jeans or because I love a 3:35:00 Marathon time (not that I ever have or ever will have that), then I am not running for the right reasons. So if I cannot run for a while, that needs to be okay too.  The problem isn’t that I miss running.  That is natural, to miss something I love.  The problem is how I worry and obsess over not running.  The problem is feeling guilty for not running.  I should just rest, relax, recover, then RUN.  No more guilt! This time off has given me time to think about why I run.  I still love running.  I just want to get back to that being my main motivation. love-running

 

*Sarcasm!  Do not do this!

What are your reasons for running/ working out?

Do you feel guilty when you can’t/ don’t work out?

What is the longest break you’ve ever had to taken from running?

The Best Place to Run

 

If you know me at all, you probably know that a few of my passions include running, art and my darling little girls.  Actually even if you don’t know me, you may have guessed one or two of those.  How about running while enjoying an outdoor art gallery with my girls?  That sounds too good to be true.  In fact that just might be pretty close to my idea of heaven, (except instead of asphalt, the trail should be paved in gold and the temperatures a little less hellish maybe) but it isn’t too good to be true.  It is one of our hidden treasures here in Central Florida, and it just got even better.

Paint the Trail.  Our favorite local trail is lined with paintings by local artist, Jeff Sonksen as well as a few others.  Currently the paintings cover, I believe, just over .6 miles.  The goal is for it to grow to 5 miles and become the world’s longest painting.  We love watching it grow.  It keeps the girls happy throughout the run.  Isla loves to “announce the paintings.”  As we approach she shouts, “Ladies and Gentlemen…” (although there are seldom any gentlemen around to hear her) “…Presenting…” Then she goes on to point out anything she recognizes.  “Nemo… Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle… Maleficent… Jimmy Fallon…”  Yes, she knows who Jimmy Fallon is, but only because of Paint the Trail.

Not too long ago, on one of these runs, we did meet one gentleman on the trail who wasn’t running or bicycling too fast to hear her enthusiastic exclamations.  We got to meet the artist.  He told us more about some of the paintings and how he got started.  I kind of felt like a big scary stalker because I already knew so much about him.  I’d read an article in the newspaper… I also follow his Facebook and his Instagram… Yep, pretty much a stalker.  Meeting Jeff was great!  And the girls were excited to tell him what they thought he should paint.  Aliana said just one word, “Layandatwamp!”  He loved the idea.  Okay, so maybe I had to translate a little first.  But then he loved it, and said he would do it!  Then Isla launched into a fast paced monologue about Frozen and Elsa and Anna and best movie ever and… What?  He hadn’t seen it?  He needed to see it immediately and he should paint Elsa and Frozen and Elsa and Anna, best movie and oh she just loves the Olaf painting but she would like Elsa more…  The girl is not shy.  Or quiet.  But eventually even Isla must breathe.  Jeff was very nice to both the girls.  They were happy to talk to him.  He said maybe he would do Elsa too.

I had a secret.  I wasn’t going to tell the girls, but I had seen on Facebook (stalker that I am) that someone had sponsored a panel, and I thought I could do the same for Isla.  Sisters are funny.  If one has something, the other must have something of equal or greater value (not greater actually because then the other one wants something else too, meaning she now has two things which is totally unfair and leads to the sister with only one thing of greater value wanting two things and…).  So if Aliana was going to have a panel, of course Isla needed one too (an equal one).

Shortly after that run, we went out of town and didn’t have a chance to run the trail again for a couple weeks.  When we got back, I could barely keep my secret.  I knew something the girls didn’t know, and I wasn’t telling.  I could not wait to show them!  I told them we were going to the trail for a run.  A couple miles in, Isla started screaming.  “Elsa!  Elsa Elsa ELSA!!!!!!!!”  Because…

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That’s right!  Lady and the Tramp (you did know that’s what she was saying, right?) and Elsa!  Of course we stopped for a closer look.

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Did they like it?

I think so!

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Yes they did!  I did too!  We loved it!

If you’d like to be a stalker too learn more about Paint the Trail and Jeff Sonksen, Check out his Facebook page.  Better yet, go for a run or bike ride on the Seminole Wekiva Trail.  Or if you want to sponsor your own panel, you can donate and request too.  Wouldn’t that make a great gift for someone who has everything?  If you don’t live in the Central Florida area, I’ll send you pictures of your section.  (Full disclosure: I am totally promoting this for my own benefit.  The girls and I get so much pleasure out of watching the painting grow).

There you have it.  The best place to run.  Ever.  Now come visit and see!

 

 

What is your favorite place for a run?

Have you ever seen anything like this?  Where?

 

 

 

Sunshine and Silliness

 

I know my blog is very quiet these days, and it isn’t because I have nothing to say.  It is because the rest of my life refuses to be quiet for long enough for me to sit down and think.  Surprisingly, in spite of the fact my writing may sometimes suggest otherwise, I cannot write without thinking… a bit.  In addition to thinking, I would have to actually type out said thoughts.  Yes to write, one must write.  It’s a problem.  For some reason, these posts just won’t write themselves.  If anyone knows of a Plugin or Widget or Technamabob (yes, it’s a thing), I can use to accomplish this, please, please tell me.  It seems I am never able to write, although I am always thinking about what I could and should and would write if I did write.  I have nine partially written drafts that just sit there waiting patiently for my time and attention.  I have 900 (or so) unwritten posts that sit impatiently inside my head cluttering up my brain.  Someday… someday.

So since I’m always running late (or running and late?  Or late because I’m running?  Or just plain late and probably running too?), this month I don’t have a Funny First post.  Remember when, on the first of each month, I used to publish a collection of funny things the girls say?  Yeah, well that didn’t happen this month… again.  But don’t be too sad faithful readers (Mom, Margaret, Marie… people who start with the letter M, I appreciate you all!), I have substituted a Silly Seventh which is basically the exact same thing with a different name and an added video of my favorite people singing their favorite song.   Enjoy!

 

My Little Sunshines

 

 

There you have it, your daily dose of cute.  Now for your monthly prescription of funny.

Isla

After admiring our neighbor’s Macaw…

Isla:  I wish I had one!

Me:  Me too, but they’re really expensive.

Isla:  Well, when I’m a grown up I’m going to waste all my money on one of those!

“I wish you would not be sarcastic because it’s a lot like lying!”

Yeah sure… I’ll get right on that.  Oops.  

‘If I had five kids I would name them Bennett-Rose, Merma, Rainbow Brite, and Ice Cream and Princess Tiara.”

“Who will my grandchildren be?”

“When you were a little girl, I bet Grandda* didn’t know how pretty his grandchildren… I mean me… would be.”

*My Dad

And he probably had no idea how modest they… I mean you… would be either, Darling.

“What should I waste my five dollars on?”

Could it be that I refer to spending as wasting just a bit too often?

“Come on mommy!  Don’t be a scaredy poke!”

Well I certainly don’t want to be that!

Isla:  It would be so fun if we were twins, Aliana!  Mommy, why didn’t you ask God for twins?

Me:  Well, I wouldn’t have minded twins, but I love having you two just the way you are.

Isla:  Oh I see.  You wanted to try it out with one kid first to see how you liked it.

Something like that.

Isla:  What if a bad doggy tries to hurt us on the run?

Me:  I’ll protect you.

Isla:  How?

Me:  I have pepper spray.

Isla:  Now, Mommy, there is no need to be mean!  How about you try a love potion instead?

That’s my sweet girl.

I was listening to the girls play a game of Simon says:

“Simon says touch your head.”  Aliana probably did

“Simon says jump up and down.”  From the loud thumping noises, I’d say Aliana definitely did.

“Simon says love yourself.”  Thank you Simon, I hope she does that one too.  

“Today I am really snotty.”

Nose related, not attitude (I think).

Aliana

♥ 

Me:  Goodnight Aliana.  I love you so much!

Aliana:  Thanks.  Now get out of here!

Awww isn’t she adorable?  Obviously what she really meant to say was, “I love you too, Mommy!”

 ♥

Me:  I’m going to make some oatmeal for breakfast.  Do you want some?

Aliana:  No, I want someping else… like teeny tiny burritos.

And the adorable way she said it, made me actually want to find a way to make miniature burritos. 

 ♥

“You’re not a grownup.  You’re just a mommy.”

It’s probably true.

 ♥

Me:  We need to go to the store now.  What shoes are you going to wear Aliana?

Aliana:  Glass slippers!

That’s my baby!

Aliana likes to make up songs to sing as she dances around the house.  One of her favorites goes something like this:

“Give me your debit card.  Give me, give me your sparkly debit card.  Sparkling and pink, pink and sparkling, I need that debit card.”

Like I said, that’s my baby!

♥ 

To me when she was trying to convince me that it was time for some Disney Jr…

“Come, come little bunny and just turn on the TV like a good bunny.”

 ♥

 

 

 

What is your child’s favorite song?

What do you sing when no one is around?

Come, come now be a good bunny and share a funny story with me… either about yourself as a child or about one of your own little ones.

Sipping on Summer

 

 

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It is the ultimate be jealous of my summer vacay photo.  I’m in Fiji sipping on something sinful as I sizzle on the beach in my bikini.  Who wouldn’t want to be me?

Confession:  I am a fraud.  My drink, although refreshing and summery, is guilt free…  My beach, the bathroom… My bikini, stuffed in a drawer somewhere.  Even the muddled mint in my mocktail is fake.

So yes, the picture is a bit fraudulent, but the drink is real… and really delicious.  You see these photos all over Facebook (is accidentally typing Fakebook a Freudian slip?), Instagram, Pinterest… the legs and the drink.  It’s the official photo of summertime.  You cannot be enjoying your summer, if you are not doing it!

But what if you don’t want to drink?  What if you’re training for a race?  What if you don’t like the taste of alcohol?  What if you want to be clear headed?  What if you’re just not in the mood for a splitting headache tomorrow?  What if you just… don’t… drink… (gasp)?  If June 21st comes around, and you aren’t sitting by the pool cocktail in hand, does summer still happen?

I don’t know, but I do know I want to have a great summer without getting runover.  You know that feeling when you’re trying to run, but you have a hangover?  Miserable.  Yep, that would be a runover.  (Yep, totally made that up, but you have to admit it is perfect).

So I thought I’d share a few of my favorite hot weather beverages… the kind that don’t dehydrate.

 

Melon Mint Fauxjito

Ingredients:

Watermelon (or Cantaloup or Both)

Lime

Mint Leaves (or Basil)

Sparkling Water

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Cut the watermelon into cubes and freeze it.  You may notice I didn’t put amounts of anything on there.  That would be because I don’t measure (thanks, Mom!).  You’ll only need about 10 watermelon cubes for one tall drink, but I like to make a lot and freeze them in bag so they’re ready when I am.  When the melon is frozen, muddle a small handful of mint (or basil) leaves and about half a lime cut into wedges in the bottom of a glass.  Fill the glass with watermelon cubes and pour sparkling water over it.  You can also use frozen berries, peaches, whatever.  Basically frozen fruit + leaves + citrus + sparkling water = refreshing fauxjito.  Get creative.  Mix it up.  Don’t get too creative with the leaves… stick to mint, basil or maybe sage.  If you like sweeter drinks, you can add a splash of simple syrup (but then it’s not quite as guilt free).  There you have it… a totally refreshing, almost zero calorie drink you can sip, slurp or chug by the pool without that runover feeling.

 

But then you open Instagram again, and there it is… That creamy, dreamy concoction staring back at you (next to a pair of nice legs no doubt).  Pina Colada, Mudslide, Frozen White Russian… whatever it is, it has more calories than your dinner and a side of headache in the morning.  But you (and by you, I mean I) want it, and you (I) want it now.  The solution:

 

Creamy Dreamy Whatever

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I admit that is not the best name.  I asked the girls what we should call it and they had some ideas.  “Crazy Bananas.”  I like it, thanks Isla.  Or the “Tweet Tweet Baby Birdie”.  Well Aliana, it is creative if not descriptive.  Isla’s other suggestion was basically the ingredient list and instructions for making it.

“We should call that the ‘Frozen Banana and Coconut Milk in the Blender Drink’.”

So there you have it.  We have now eliminated the need for a recipe, but just in case you want it anyway…

Ingredients:

1 Large Banana (peeled, sliced and frozen)

1 Cup Coconut Milk

Optional add ins:

1/2 Cup Pineapple, 1 teaspoon Cocoa Powder, 1/2 Cup Berries, or whatever else you little heart desires (yeah, I’m not great at writing, or following recipes).

Put all ingredients in the blender.  Try to avoid stepping on the little beggars jumping up and down below the counter.  And blend.

So, so good!  This drink is not low calorie, but it is healthy and nutritious, and that is okay with me!  Calories are energy.  Energy is running.  That is all.

And one last summer drink that would look lovely lying by your legs (because isn’t that what really matters when it comes to libation selection):

The Purple

Ingredients:

2 Generous Cups Frozen Cubed Watermelon (remember I told you to make extra?)

1 Cup Blueberries

Splash Sparkling Water

Blend the fruit thoroughly.  Add a splash of sparkling water (more if the drink is still too think) and pulse once or twice.  Instagram, then drink.

And one last added benefit of these non-alcoholic drinks… you can share them with your little ones.  On second thought, is that really a benefit?

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What is your favorite hot weather treat?

What do you love about summertime?

If you could vacay anywhere this summer, where would you go?

The Answer

 

Okay, time for the big reveal!!!  The answer you’ve been waiting for all day!  Are you holding your breath?  I know you’re just dying to hear I’m just dying to share my secret.  I’m going to assume the excitement is mutual.  Yay!

I told you this morning I got myself a gift, but I didn’t tell you what it was.  I’ve had two guesses… Running shoes and cool socks.  Both are good guesses from people who obviously know me pretty well.  Neither is right, but the funny thing is I am actually waiting on a box from Amazon containing those exact things.

Ladies and gentlemen, without further rambling ado, may I present my next big race…

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That’s right.  I signed up for the Southernmost Marathon in Key West this Fall!  I am nervous and excited and excited and nervous.  As it gets closer, I expect to feel a bit more nervous and excited.  Yes, yes, I express my feeling so well.  I should be a writer or something.  Who hid my thesaurus?

In other news, the girls and I had a wonderful National Running Day.  We went to our favorite trail.  I ran a tough 6 miles and loved every second of it (okay maybe not the last few seconds of the second ten minutes at please kill me speed).  When you calculate in the Florida afternoon heat, the planned run went something like this.  Fifteen minutes warm up (cause just getting out of the car in the hundred degree weather didn’t warm me up enough).  Ten minutes of trying to kill myself.  Two minutes to slow down and try to catch my breath (operative word: try)  Another ten minutes of coach cursing speed.  Two easy minutes.  Fifteen minutes cool down (What?).  There is nothing cooling about cooling down in the Florida summer.  Then die in the grass.

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I like the deeply shaded areas of the Seminole Wekiva Trail.  It’s great not having to stop for traffic.  The smooth pavement is ideal for our jogging stroller.  But the real reason the girls and I love this run is the Paint the Trail art.  Brightly colored fences painted by local artists help pass the time for all of us.  Today we were delighted to discover the addition of our beloved Olaf.

"Some People are Worth Melting For" (some runs too)

“Some People are Worth Melting For” (some runs too)

We couldn’t properly celebrate the holiday without everyone getting a turn to run.  So I let the girls run free for about a quarter mile after I finished my time.

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We were hot messes, but so happy.

 

 

Did you celebrate National Running Day?  How?

 

If you have children, how do you involve them in your running?

Guess What!

 

Happy National Running Day!!!  If you’re a runner, RUN!  If you’re not a runner, RUN anyway! Let’s have fun and celebrate together!

I just bought myself a present… a very nice running present.  Let’s see who can guess what it is.  You have all day to guess, and tonight I’ll tell you.  How well do you know me?

How are you celebrating National Running Day?  Please tell me about your run.  Even better share a photo… Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snailmail (what’s that?), come over to my house and show me (only if I know you).  I’ll have pictures tonight.  Right now I’m off for a run with the girls.  Have a great day (and run!)!

 

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Summertime Sillies

 

In honor of Aliana singing “The Sum Sum Song” (aka “Summertime Sadness”) right next to me as she eats breakfast and I type, I am renaming this month’s post.  Funny First just doesn’t seem to apply when I never manage to get it written by the first of the month.  It’s hard to believe June is here, but here it is!  Isla and Aliana keep me busy, and time flies.  These little sillies add extra sunshine to my summer, and hopefully they’ll brighten your day too.

Isla

Fun facts:

Isla is four and a half, but if you ask her, she is “almost five”.

Isla just moved up into “Big Girl Ballet Class” meaning I don’t get to sit in the room anymore, but she does grudgingly allow Aliana and me to watch from outside the window.

Isla will start school in one week!  Summer VPK, twice a week, and she is so ready (I am not!).  Judging from Aliana’s reaction to having her sister in a different ballet class, I will definitely have a crying partner when I drop her off.  I foresee froyo topped with sprinkles and tears in our future.

Isla’s newest hobby is making jewelry from Perler Beads (remember those?) and she is, in my totally impartial opinion, creative and artistic.  Her designs are brilliant!

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Now you have the facts.  Let’s get to the funny business.

 

Isla fell and got a booboo.  I kissed it.  She responded with a tearful smile,

“That made it hurt even badlier, but it kind of made my heart happy.  Thank you.”

 

Isla: Speaking of hot chocolate, can we have some?

Me: Usually someone has to be talking about it first, if you’re going to say “speaking of…”

Isla: Oh. [Pause] Aliana, speak of hot chocolate, so I can ask Mommy for some.

 

Me: Aliana, I can’t understand you when you whine.

Isla: She said she has a booboo.  I can understand whine because I speak whine too sometimes.

That you do, Baby.  Thanks for the translation.

 

“At first I didn’t know how, but then I got the heck of it.”

 

I was mentally patting myself on the back for a series of simplified yet accurate answers about taxes after Isla asked why she had to pay $1.07 for something that cost a dollar.  Taxes go to the government… They help pay people who work for the government… etc.  Then she had one more question.

“If the police work for the president, why don’t they just steal everyone’s money too?”

Oh dear.  Dad, have you been talking politics with my daughter?

 

Isla watched in the mirror as I rubbed lotion onto my face.

“What’s that? One of those masques to help you not get ruffles?”

Ahhh ruffles… sounds so much cuter than wrinkles, doesn’t it?  But still, I don’t want them!

 

Aliana

Fun Facts:

Aliana loves to listen to music and sing and dance.

Aliana gives colored kisses.  Every time she kisses me, she tells me what color it is.  If she wants some kisses and cuddles, she will pull on my shirt and tell me she has a pink, blue, red, etc. kiss for me.  If I ask for a kiss, I will be informed of the color choices and asked to pick one or told that she is all out.

Aliana adores Isla, and wants to do everything her big sister does, but she has a unique personality all her own.

Aliana and only Aliana can call Aliana a baby.  She frequently refers to herself as a baby, the baby and my baby, but try calling her a baby.  Just try it.  I dare you!

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Me: Don’t play with that. It’s dirty.
Aliana: I know, but it’s sparkly though.

Good point.  Go right ahead.

 

“I’ll put my eyes on you!”

Pretty sure a rough translation would be “I’m watching you.”

 

Me: I love you!

Aliana: I love ice cream.

Well she is my daughter.  That’s for sure.

 

“Scratch my back mama.  Scratch it louder!”

 

Aliana: You got pediture mama?

Me: Yes

Aliana: You got white stripes [french tips]?

Me: Yes.  Do you like it?

Aliana: No.  It’s boring.

Toddlers are so honest.  And speaking of being honest…

 

When I asked Aliana if she made a mess playing with some things she wasn’t supposed to touch, she covered her eyes and spoke the truth.

Me: Thank you for being honest.

Aliana: I am not honest!  I am Aliana!

 

And I’ll finish with a riddle.  What sound is peaceful and relaxing before having children, but can strike terror in the bravest parent’s heart?

Silence!  And now, things have grown very quiet.  I’m scared.  Who knows what craziness I’ll find.  Wish me luck!

 

Funny Funny

 

My blog has been extremely quiet lately.  But you know what hasn’t been quiet?  My girls!  They are as funny as ever, so even though they are currently bouncing up and down on top of me, I am going to try to get this written and posted.  Here goes

Isla

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“Can we have that kind of candy that has a wrapper but you don’t eat the wrapper?”

Ummm?  As opposed to the kind where you do eat the wrapper?

 

To me: “You used to be a beast, but then an evil witch turned you into a person.”

How very evil of her.

 

Me: Isla, I showed someone a picture of you, and she said you look just like me.

Isla: Yeah.  Except my boobies are not so so big.

Sometimes I don’t even know what to say.

 

Isla shouting to me from the bathroom: “Mama I need privacy! Come in here and close the door.”  (Aliana was already in there, and no one else was home).

I think we need to work on the concept of privacy.

 

“I like cruises because you can sanitize your hands whenever you want on cruises!”

Good point.  We could probably save money by skipping the vacation and buying an industrial size bottle of hand sanitizer.

 

Due to the secret nature of the following conversation, names have been changed to protect identities.

Isla: Mommy, can anyone hear us when we’re in the car?

Me: No, not if they’re not here with us.

Isla: Okay, can I talk to you about something very private and secret…*dramatic pause* …Something the other people cannot know about?

Me: Yes?

Isla (lowered voice): Old people!  Don’t worry, I think you are still young and beautiful.  But will you be old someday?

Me: Yes, probably.

Isla: Ok.  Well was Henrietta always old, even when you were a little?

Me: I didn’t know her when I was little, but no.

Isla: Was Lucy always old, even when you were little.

Me: No, she was young.  People start out babies, then they get older and older.

Isla: Oh, when will you get old then?

How does one answer that question?  Seriously.  Just thinking about it is aging me.

 

“You wanna guess who loves you!  It starts with I-S-L-A.  And she had curly hair.  And she has hazelnut eyes.  And she loves to laugh.  And she has pretty pink lips.  Can you guess!

I think I can.

 

“Mommy I will always love you, even when you are no longer young and beautiful.”

Thanks for that, Lana Del Rey.

 

“Let’s pretend you’re a human!”

That’s a hard one.

 

Isla cheering me on as I got my work out done on a stationary bike; “Pedal faster!  Pedal faster!  You’re still not going anywhere, Mama!”

Going nowhere fast.

 

Aliana

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“You’re the best mommy in the ever world.”

Awwww

 

“Put me down!  Hohd [hold] me!  Leave me alone!  Shoe away from me!  I not like you!  Hohd me, Mama!  Just go away, and leave me alone!  Hohd me!”

Tired maybe?  But do not ask if she is tired.  Never ask if she is tired.  Say the T word, and all hell breaks loose.  Instead think of this as a work out.  Lift and down. Lift and down.  Duck!  Lift and down and Lift.

 

Me: You’re too cute, Aliana!
Aliana: No! You’re too cute little Mama!
Me: You are!
Aliana: No, you’re just a cute tiny wittle beetle baby mama!

Day made.

 

 

Your turn. Share a cute story or funny quote from your little darling, please?

I Do Stuff

 

I am a stay at home mommy.  I’m not going to defend it, or say what I do all day, or try to make it sound like I do more than the moms who go to work all day.  I probably don’t.  That life sounds exhausting actually.  I know some mommies who work very hard all day then they come home and work hard there too.  We all work.  We all do stuff.  Stop acting like one is better than the other.  Stop being superior.  Stop it, everyone!

SAHMs I’m talking to you.  We are not better mommies than the ones who go to work.  Whether they have chosen to go back to work because they like it or done it out of necessity, it does not matter.  They are just doing the same thing we are… Trying their best to do their best for their families.  That’s all.  They are doing what mommies do, putting their little ones first.  Okay maybe some aren’t, but that is not for us to judge.  Some stay at home moms might not be putting their families first either… gasp… yes, I said it.  Neither being home nor going to work makes a mother inherently better.  Doing our best and loving our children with everything we have and more, that is all we can do.

Working moms, I’m talking to you now.  Stop acting superior.  You do look superior, I’ll give you that… so put together in your business clothes, so perfect in your make up, with your hair… you know… what is that thing you do to your hair?  Brush it?  Well, it looks good on you.      But remember this; we are all busy.  Just because you look better doing it, doesn’t mean you’re doing more… or less.

We all have 24 hours in our day.  We have kids, so I’m guessing those 24 hours are full.  Full of being busy, full of trying hard (and sometimes failing), full of love and laughter, full of tears and tantrums, full of messes… just full.

When Scott comes home from work and asks what I did with my day, I’m not going to lie, I feel defensive.  Maybe I need to have more to show.  Where is the proof that I have accomplished something? Where is the perfectly clean house?  Why aren’t my children lined up(a la Sound of Music) reciting the elements of the periodic table?  Where is the five course gluten free (because that’s cool now) non-GMO, gourmet meal with followed by a secretly healthy, yet totally kid-pleasing dessert?  Why haven’t I changed out of my sweaty yoga pants all day?  Where is anything to show that I did anything… anything at all?

“What did you do today?”  I honestly can’t think of a single thing to tell him, and yet I’m exhausted… mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted.  What’s wrong with me?

“Um, I did stuff…”  My voice trails off.  I either start feeling bad about myself and my lack of accomplishment or I do the other most logical thing.  I get mad.  Why does he want to know?  Why is he questioning me?  Is this some kind of interrogation?  He is so mean!

Like I said I am not going to defend it or promote it.  If you are a stay at home mommy, and looking for justification (not that you need it), The Matt Walsh Blog has a nice post about that: What do you DO all day?  It is even more encouraging because it’s written by a man, a daddy, someone who does not stay home.  It is lovely to see someone so respectful and full of admiration for what his wife does.

That being said, my point is a bit different than his.  His is sweet.  Mine is simple.  Stop judging other mothers.  Stop feeling insecure about yourself (because I am guessing that is the real root of all this judginess).  Are you doing the best you can for the ones you love most?  Yes?  Good.  Is she doing the best… Stop!  Wait a minute.  Not your problem.  Not your business.  Love and support.  Don’t judge.  What are we?  The mean girls from high school all grown up but not changed a bit?  You worry about yourself!  I say it all day long to my girls.  Now I’m saying it to myself.  Worry about yourself!

Some days getting to be their Mommy is the only thing I accomplish.  (And I am far from perfect at that!)

Some days getting to be their Mommy is the only thing I accomplish.
(And I am far from perfect at that!)

 

 

Do you ever find yourself feeling insecure about your choice to either stay home or go to work as a parent?