Finally Funny


Yes, the girls are funny all the time, but I am only finally getting around to posting.  So here it is, the funny things they have said all month… But first, a joke:

“Get it?  Get it?  Because peanut butter and JELLY, and sea turtles eat jelly fish!”

If you don’t laugh, Isla is not above explaining all the funniness of the joke.  So laugh.  I mean seriously.  If a kid tells you a joke, you laugh.




And while we’re on the subject of sea turtles…

“I wish just once you would remember to NOT kill sea turtles!”

Sigh… All because I forgot to bring my reusable shopping bags to Publix.


“Mommy, can we watch My Little Ponies because it teaches us about friendship and love and kindness, so we can be better sisters to each other?

How could I say “no”?


“Everything Aliana says is cute, only because she is adorably wonderful!”

It’s true.



“My tummy’s eyes are my boobies.”

Think about it… keep thinking… keep thinking… picture it… It actually kind of makes sense, right?


“Mommy!  Would you stop being a slowpoke, and please be a fast poke?”


“Mommy, I want a bar of corn too!”

It does make more sense than ear!  Why is it an ear anyway?


“I jamp and I jamp.”

Rhymes with ramp past tense of jump.  Apparently.


Me: You girls are awesome!

Aliana: We are not just awesome!  We are awesome sauce!

Yes, yes you are.


When Isla tried to wipe Aliana’s face with a napkin and spit (which must skip generations, by the way, because I have never done that, Mother!)…

“I am a princess!  I don’t use slime!”

I’m with you on that one, Baby!


“Someday I’m going to flush the potty with my foot.  I wanna be just like Mommy when I grow up!

Goals, dreams and aspirations.



Me: You’re a really smart girl!

Isla: I know, I know… I’m a smarty pants!

Aliana: I know I know…I’m a smarty naked!

I suppose that would make more sense to a nudist 3 year old who thinks being forced to wear clothes equals having the “worst day ever!”



Want to Play?


And if I didn’t tag you, please feel free to join!  Post your minutes on your blog and comment with the link, or if you don’t blog post them here!

Afternoon Pick Me Up (a Recipe)

So you’ve hit that sluggish time of day.  It’s about to rain.  And you want a nap.  Or is it just me that gets this way… daily at about 2:00 PM?  Come on!  Tell me I’m not alone here.  The afternoon slump…  It’s a thing.  And as for naps… Ain’t nobody got time for that! (I know, I know, I should have left that saying right back in 2014 where it probably didn’t belong even then).

So with no time for a nap, and no energy for life, what’s a girl to do?  Snack time!  But then sometimes a snack can just add to the lethargy.  Today’s afternoon snack was the perfect pick me up.  Delicious!  Chocolatey!  Healthy!  Easy!  4 Ingredients!




Berry Chocolate Frosty


3 frozen bananas

1 cup cashew milk (or your milk of choice)

2 heaping teaspoons cocoa powder

2 scoops Berry Greens*

Toss everything in the blender and blend until creamy!  If it’s too thick, add a splash more milk.

See?  I told you it was easy!

Makes one serving.  One runner’s serving, that is…  Two for normal humans.  Three if I am feeling generous and sharing with two much smaller humans (like I did today).


*What is Berry Greens?  With multiple servings of fruits and vegetables and a blend of 38 herbs and nutrient-rich superfoods, Greens provides naturally occurring, bioavailable vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytonutrients, and enzymes to give your already well-balanced diet a nutritional boost. It’s maximum support for your best health, all in a new delicious berry flavor.

  • Detoxify, alkalize, and promote pH balance within the body
  • Acidity-fighting magnesium and potassium blend
  • Cutting-edge probiotic support for digestive health
  • 38 herbs and nutrient-rich superfoods
  • Multiple servings of fruits and vegetables in every scoop
  • Free radical-fighting antioxidants
  • Great-tasting berry flavor

Made with natural ingredients

Click link above for ordering information.  Feel free to message with questions about this amazing superfood blend and how to get it at my distributor price.

Before I started drinking greens, I was up to 4 cups of coffee a day and still feeling tired, but also too shaky to increase my caffeine levels.  With Greens, I still start my day with a cup of coffee, but one is plenty.  I feel so much better.  I don’t feel up and down all day.  I had one scoop (half a serving, just 5 calories) to my water in the morning and another in the afternoon).  I just feel good… energetic… alive!

Yes, I'm still in my PJs.  Yes, I'm wearing a sweater in Florida in the summer.  Don't judge.

Yes, I’m still in my PJs. Yes, I’m wearing a sweater in Florida in the summer. Don’t judge.

What is your favorite afternoon pick me up?

Just for Fun


You may have seen this already because I posted it on Facebook after seeing the idea on another mommy’s page.  It’s so much fun to see what your kids think about you.  Try it out, and try not to let them hear you laugh… This is serious you know!

Without ANY prompting, ask your child/ children these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. It is a great way to find out what they really think. When you re-post, put your Child’s age.
Name: Isla 5 / Aliana 3
1. What is something mom always says to you? Be nice / I love you.
2. What makes mom happy? When I give you hugs and kisses / Clean bedroom
3. What makes mom sad? When I hurt you / When we don’t clean our bedroom
4. How does your mom make you laugh? When you tickle me / Do jokes
5. What was your mom like as a child? Like you didn’t go to school and you didn’t go trick or treating / Dress up dress
6. How old is your mom? 17… 18 actually / 7
7. How tall is your mom? A little / A little
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Go fun places with us / Do art
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? Go potty / Be’s sad
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? For me / For being nice.
11. What is your mom really good at? Sleeping / Whistling (I can’t whistle at all)
12. What is your mom not very good at? Smoking / Eating Ice
13. What does your mom do for a job? Massaging / Kiss
14.What is your mom’s favorite food? Sushi / Nuffing
15.What makes you proud of your mom? How good of art she is / Nuffing… I mean making noodles
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? Elsa / Anna… I mean Belle… I mean Elsa!
17. What do you and your mom do together? Play / Kiss
18. How are you and your mom the same? Both have blonde hair / Don’t know
19. How are you and your mom different? We don’t have the same eyes / I have curly hair
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because whenever I say you don’t love me, you say you do / Because she hug me and kiss me
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? That he likes your dinner / Nuffing
22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go? The beach / Chipotle!
23. How old was your Mom when you were born? 17 / 3


These Girls!


Today my big girl graduates!  Bring out the water proof mascara!  Grab a box of tissues!  No more VPK.  This fall, she’ll start real school… Kindergarten!

After hiding in the bathroom, door locked, arranging roses, I have moved on to reminiscing.

Does anyone else see these roses and want a donut?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Just me... okay.

Does anyone else see these roses and want a donut? Anyone? Anyone? Just me… okay.

First day of school… Every exciting school project since… All the amazing things she has learned… Seriously where is my waterproof mascara?  I only use that stuff for Disney races (obviously I have to be princessey at a Disney Race, and that calls for mascara, and I kinda get a little sweaty when I run 13.1.  Happy National Running Day by the way.  I am totally rambling now.  What was I even talking about?  Oh yes.  Isla.  The girls.  This year has flown by!  These girls are growing up so fast!  I love watching them grow, but sometimes I just want to freeze them exactly as they are!  Cute, little, and funny… they are both so funny!





Radio playing…

I said, “You’re holding back, “
She said, “Shut up and dance with me!”

Isla: Why can’t she just say “stop talking, and dance with me please!”?  Much nicer, right?

Yes.  Much.


“When I grow up I want to be the mayor, then the governor, then… What else rules the world?”

And she has been campaigning for president ever since. 


First Official Campaign Letter

First Official Campaign Letter


Isla: Mommy did you go to college?

Me: Yes.

Isla: Oh.  So you went to the college to just be plain person who doesn’t have a job?

Mmm hmmm I majored Joblessness with a minor in Plainness.  


Isla: Mommy, Aliana took off her shoes.

Me: [sigh]

Isla: Aliana!  You hear what mommy said?  When people say that sound, it means they’re… they’re… What are you feeling mommy?

Me: Stressed out.

Isla: Aliana, you’re stressing mommy out with your shoes off!


“Some people are meant to nap.  Some are not.”

Please, please let me be meant to nap today!


We were going for a leisurely family bike ride around Jekyll Island, and Scott was enjoying learning about the history of the area…

“Daaaaddy, why are you turning that way?  Are you going to read another one of those dead people things?”

She is her mother’s daughter.  Just ride!







Aliana: What was that sound?

Me: What sound?

Aliana: I heard a sound in my bedroom!  It was like a fruit bat eating an apple.

Oh, yes that sound…  Of course.


Aliana: I’m so sorry I like mangos mommy

Me: Why are you sorry, Baby?

Aliana: Because I’m about to take yours!

And she did… right off my plate.


“Mommy I took three bites of your donut because I was three… To make sure it wasn’t poisoned for you.”

A few minutes later… “I took more than 3 bites now to make sure it wasn’t ever, ever, ever poisoned!

I’m happy to inform you we both survived that apparently, highly suspicious donut.


If you ever wonder why Mommies love to change their clothes alone (although it rarely happens)…

Aliana: Wow, Mommy I like your BIG butt cheeks!

I laughed… because what else can you do?

“Mommy!  Say thank you!”

Say thank you!  That’s what else you can do!  I should really try to accept compliments more graciously, I suppose.


Aliana: Mommy, can I have a snack.

Me: Yes, you may, but you have to get dressed first.

Aliana: Hatefullest day ever!

And with that she, crumpled to the floor from the sheer tragedy of it all. 


“Isla!  Isla?  Are you okay?  Isla, if I give you a true love’s kiss, will it help?”


You gotta bat your eyes... like thees.  You gotta pucker up your lips... like thees! -Sebastian

You gotta bat your eyes… like thees. You gotta pucker up your lips… like thees!

 Sisters Forever!

Isla: I’m the President!
Aliana: I’m the secret servant!  I protect the president and shoot people!  Shoot you!
Isla: No!  Not her!  That’s my Mommy!  You’re not supposed to shoot the President’s Mommy!
Aliana: So, so sorry about that!  I won’t do it again.


Your turn!  Share a funny kiddie story!

Clean Water and Toys



My big hearted little girl talks all the time about helping people who don’t have access to clean water. Today’s conversation went something like this:
Isla: Mommy, I want to put my spending money into my Africa money bank. Clean water for people is more importanter than an American Girl Doll… If they don’t have money for water, how can they buy food?
Me: Um…
Isla: …And if they don’t have money for food, how do they get toys?
Me: Ummm… well maybe the children play with things they find. They probably can’t buy…
And before I could finish, she was off in her room telling Aliana that they needed to pack up their toys to send to Africa.  Sweet girls, they picked out some of their favorite things.  Obviously I can’t just deposit toys at the bank and make a donation (although I thought the suggestion was pretty smart coming from a 5 year old), so what can I do?  I don’t want to discourage her generosity by saying “no”, but I don’t even know where to start. Any ideas as to how we can send toys to Africa would be appreciated!

I love her heart!

Click Here to Donate to Isla’s Clean Water fund for World Vision.



Funny First on the FIRST! What?


I’m not sure if I can actually post Funny First on the first of the month.  Being timely with a blog post is so not me.  I mean I am fashionably late.  It’s the only thing fashionable about me these days.  I wear my yoga pants everywhere, to everything, all the time… I’m pretty much always rocking the mom bun (yes, with a headband… gasp… I know… How did I become this person?)… and I sometimes add a tiara to make myself gorgeous (Mmm hmm plastic princess wear goes great with the sweat pants and hair that knows no brush).  So I guess if I’ve lost all other sense of fashion, I can lose my fashionably late status just this one too.  So here it is… Funny First, on the actual first!  Don’t get used to it.





“I wanna come with you to school! They will love me so much! They will love your curly girl!  Everyone loves your baby!”

It’s true.


Mommy! You look so beautiful! Like you are going to marry!  Except do not wear those pants!  A prince will not want to marry you in those pants!

Duly noted.  When searching for a prince, do not wear the elephant pants (although the elephant pants are amazing!)


Aliana: Mommy these are boys shoes.

Me: No those are my shoes.

Aliana: Well they’re not pretty like girls’ shoes should be.

Thanks for that, Baby.


“Mommy you’re like a kid.  Well a part grown up kid.  You’re not really a real grown up but, sometimes you are a little grown up.”



After the finger prick iron test at her Doctor’s appointment, Aliana had one thing to say… on repeat… for the rest of the day… with all the drama.

“Mommy, she took our blood from us.”


Aliana (in her sweet little voice): Mommy, I wanna be a killer.

Me: Oh okay baby… Wait… WHAT!?!?!

Aliana: I want be a killer.  I don’t want to kill you though.  I just want to kill bugs.

Children really are terrifying sometimes.


“Mommy if I tell the truth that I did a violent thing to Isla are you going to put me in time out?”


“Mommy!  Isla did violence to me!”





Sounding out slowly…

“The… Whale… Can… Swim… WHAT?!?!  Everyone knows whales can swim.  Why does that need to be in a book?”


Me: Thank you so much for having a great attitude about cleaning your room today!

Isla: Well I just don’t want you to say I can’t have a tattoo!

Temporary, people!  She means temporary.  Stop judging!  And then she wanted a face tat… You can resume your judging now.


Sisters Forever!



Watching Scooby Do…

Aliana: I’m scared!

Isla: Nothing to be scared of!  It won’t come out of the TV!  And if it does, I won’t let it take you. Well, I mean I will try not to let it.

Yeah, maybe it would be more comforting to just stop after that first sentence.


Isla: Mommy, if a boy tries to kiss me at school do you think I should say “knock off!”?

Me: Did a boy try to kiss you?

Isla: No, but I’m just trying to think what you would do if a boy tried to kiss you.  You probably say “knock off” to all the boys who try to kiss you, right?

Me: Yes!  Definitely don’t let the boys kiss you… Ever!

Isla:  Ok, I’ll say knock off then.

Aliana: And I will say knock over!  Then I will knock them over.

Good, good… Violence is never the answer… Unless a boy tries to kiss you!


Me: Fresh food is good for you.

Aliana: what is fresh food?

Isla: You know like fresh out of the microwave!

I have failed as a mother!





And what do I do for energy to keep us with these two cute and crazy balls of energy?  Well coffee!  Obviously coffee!  And running, we all know running gives you energy, but what about when you don’t have the energy to run?   Greens!  I have actually cut back on my coffee intake thanks to the energy boost from this amazing stuff!  Greens can help detoxify and alkalize your body as well as giving you that extra boost of every that comes from fruits, vegetables, herbs and super foods!  Want to know more about it?  Ask me (and if you live close enough, I might even let you try a sample)!

Running and Stuff and FREE Stuff


I don’t know about you, but the word “free” gets my attention pretty much faster than anything… Other than maybe a cute baby.  And they are all cute.  Oh how about a free cute baby?  I’d be all over that!  “Free  food”… well I just ate, and I am full, but I can stuff in another meal (bad idea).  “Free coffee” okay so I’m shaking from my first three cups, but yes!  Just yes (probably also a bad idea).  “Free thingamadoozzle”… Yep I totally need one of those!  So if you’re like me that’s why you are reading this right now.  I’ll get to that.

First running!  I ran the Tomoka Half Marathon last weekend and it was super great!  Best. Race. Ever!  I had so much fun, and I PR’ed, and my friend, Jessica was there, and there was pizza, and I got a massage and the medal has a spinning tree in it, and the course went though a state park… And… and… and I know this sounds like a story a five year old would tell.  I know this because I hear a lot of five year old’s stories.  Maybe Isla’s story telling style is starting to rub of on me.  In fact I was jumping up and down every time I said “and” so yeah… I’m like 5 years old.  Oh well.

Jess and Me after the race

Jess and Me after the race

Yesterday I ran naked.  It was so freeing!  No, not like that (you weirdo!)… just no GPS or running app.  It was raining, so I left my phone home and had a beautiful Easter run.  Probably about 7 miles, but who really knows?  Probably pretty fast, but who really cares?  Naked and free!

stretch marks 2Now for the other kind of free… the free stuff!  Mamas, if you have stretch marks, this is for you!  This stuff is SO amazing.  It works, It really works!  It is like a magic eraser for stretch marks.  I bought an extra bottle, for one lucky reader.  Just click here and follow the directions to enter on Facebook, Instagram or both.


What was your best race ever?

 Do you like free stuff?  Or are you crazy?

April Funnies


The girls had nothing funny to say all month, sorry.


So that’s pretty much the level of April Fools jokes we have going on around here today.  PSA (that’s parent service announcement):  Do not, I repeat do not, teach your children about April Fools until they are much, much older than 3 and 5 years old… unless you want them to spend the day saying absolutely anything ridiculous they can think of and then shouting “APRIL FOOLS!  HA HA!  Tricked you!” at the top of their lungs… in the grocery store…. the entire time you shop… until everyone in the store is staring at you… and laughing.  Not that it happened to me or anything.  Hypothetically.  It could happen.  I would imagine.  And if it did happen, I would imagine that mommy would come home and drink some tea while writing all the things that will someday embarrass her children.  Revenge is sweet (hypothetically).




Isla has been doing amazingly well learning to sound out words and read.  I couldn’t be prouder of her!  Her Daddy is also quite impressive with the books:

“He’s reading silent!  He reads with his brain.  Someday I’m going to learn to read with my brain.”


Isla:  Mmmmm fish is yummy!  I hope they don’t have to kill fish to make fish!  Do they?  Mommy? Mommy???  Is it just named after fish or do they kill the fish?  Is fish made out of fish?

Me:  Mm hmm.

Isla:  Oh well maybe they just find they already dead ones!  That would be much nicer.

Yes… so much nicer.  Maybe we could make burgers out of roadkill too?


Isla:  That guy said “hey girl” to you Mommy!

Me:  Why did he do that?

Isla:  Because he saw that you’re a runner.  And runners are amazing!

I’m not gonna argue with that.


“Lots of snakes came to Florida when Saint Patrick told the snakes to go away.”

And now we know who to blame.


“It feels so good to learn to read!  It’s like you’re in a fairytale world!”




“You’re the best mommy! You win a trophy with a donut in top!”

That’s my kind of trophy!


“Mommy makes me best Toe-food!  It’s good all the way down to my toes”

I can’t stand to tell her it’s called tofu.


Aliana:  I’m mad! I’m going to punch you now.

Me:  If you punch me, you will be in trouble.

Aliana:  Well can I punch you with something soft then?

It is an improvement.


Poking me in the back…

Aliana: Mommy, I found your spirit!

Me: What?

Aliana: What do you call that line in your back again?

Me: My spine?

Aliana: Yes, you do have a spine.

Well good to know I’m not spineless… or spiritless.


Aliana (dramatically):  Goodbye mommy.

Me:  Goodbye?  Where are you going?

Aliana:  I’m sad to say when I am a grownup, I will have to leave you.  I’m just getting ready for that.


“I am here to do something rude to you!”



“I love you so much, Sissy, that if I pinched you, I would say I’m sorry!”

Now that’s the stuff Hallmark cards are made of.



Oh You Know, Just a Last Minute Half Marathon

I remember when I thought a half marathon sounded crazy!  As In I would never ever be that kind of crazy, crazy!  But I wanted it.  When you call a runner crazy, it’s kind of a compliment.  Last weekend I was running, trying to keep up with Scott as he rode a bike and pulled the girls behind in a trailer.


A bicyclist rode by us and said, “Wow!  That’s a hell of a pace!”

Scott said, “What she’s really saying is, you’re crazy!”

I said, “Thanks!”

On her way back she called out to me, “You’re my hero!”

I said, “Thank you!”

Scott told me, “That is just a nice way of saying, you’re crazy.”

I replied with a delighted, “Thank you!”

Moral of the story: I say thank you a lot runners actually like being told they are crazy.  No, not in real life, talk to invisible people, insane-crazy, but being a crazy runner is a good thing.  You say crazy.  I hear awesome.  So thank you!

Back when I thought running a half marathon was crazy, I totally wanted to do it!  It was my big goal.  I just couldn’t imagine it becoming a reality.  Now I’ve done that and more and I love that distance!  A friend of mine asked last week, if I wanted to do the Tomoka Marathon or half or 5K.  It is coming up this Sunday.  I said yes to the half.  Now I consider 13.1 miles a fun weekend distance when I have time for it.  No big deal.  Is that crazy?  Maybe.  Some people feel that way about 26.2 miles.  Sure, I’ll just go ahead and run a marathon this weekend… got nothing else to do.  Now that is crazy (awesome)!

Now that I’ve run two marathons, I consider ultra marathons to be that next level of crazy.  I’m not saying I’ll ever do one, but I’m not saying I won’t either.  Runners always want more!


What is your idea of crazy?

What’s the longest distance you’ve ever run?

Have you tried those crazy wrap things?